Brenda's bangs

There are all types of clients. There are male, female, old, middle aged and teenaged. There are lawyers and doctors and teachers and construction workers. There are pessimists and optimists, narcissists and egotists, loners and geeks, country folk and freaks.

Let me not forget children.
little ones.
kids.

Ok. it's time for some truth here folks. The cold hard truth about cutting little kids hair....

1. Generally your hairdresser has booked the same amount of time for your child as he/she would for an adult haircut, not because we want to, but because our books run on half hour increments. We do not charge the same amount not because the haircut isn't as technical, but because we understand the costs involved with raising children and we do it as a favor to the parent who is hopefully also our client.

2. Your child is a darling right up until he/she proves otherwise. Then and only then are they are viewed as demon spawn sent to ruin an otherwise joyful day.

3. If your child is screaming, running in circles, spilling water,  grabbing scissors, spinning chairs, whining, nagging or any other annoying behavior while you are getting your hair done, you can bet my mood will not be conductive to creating art...rather it will be conductive to plotting revenge, which does not equate to beautiful hair. Do yourself a favor, if your kids are bratty, get a babysitter.

4. Tootsie Roll Suckers are a privilege, not a right.

5.  I have a pg13 rating. I have ruined the Santa myth. I have used undesirable language in the presence of small children. I laugh at bad behavior. I will tell them ghost stories about yellow ribbons around necks and men with hooks for hands.I will teach them to sing Henry the VIII and 99 bottles of beer on the wall.

6. Rest assured that no matter how your kids act, I most likely adore them anyways. Certainly they behave better in the salon than my own do.


   My absolute favorite thing in the world is when children give themselves their own haircut. I suppose it was about three years ago.....

Lets call her Brenda.

Brenda decided it would be a good idea to trim her bangs before kindergarten picture day.  She accidentally added an extra inch to her forehead. She cut that hair so short it looked as if she went at it with sheep shears.  Her mother called, asking if I could fix them. Those bangs were a sight to behold! I suppose she thought I'd even them up. Now, it's important that you know that Brenda's mother and I are good friends and when they walked in the door it was absolutely impossible not to laugh and laugh we did. The more we laughed, the madder Brenda became.  In my meager attempt to ease poor Brenda's mind, I informed her that lots of women cut their hair that short...there is a name for such women, I told her.

And so the story goes. Do I regret the lesbian comment? Not really. Looking back on it, I realize that the statement can be construed as harsh or insensitive or inappropriate. Do I care? No. Are we are still great friends? yes.  Brenda even spends the night at my house every now and then. The statement was completely inconsequential. Laughable really. Not as laughable as those bangs were...good thing they still have the picture.

Consider this a warning folks.